I bought the gift…

Today I went to buy the gift for my best friend’s new born baby…and even though I said I lost interest and concern about the gifts I buy, I found myself thinking at the store, not accepting buying a very typical gift, the gift that every one would buy, and may not last for a long time…it had to be unique, I guess it is all related to me…I never accept to be similar to every one.. and the magical word…is to be distinguished…

Today I watched this movie “face off” for the 4th or 3rd time.. I guess I lost counting, the truth is I like this movie.. even though it has it’s portion of fiction (which I don’t like in general in movies), but I guess Nicolas is playing a nice role and deserves to be watched.. any way this is not the idea of mentioning this, cause I watched it, not according to my free well, but it was my brother’s choice…any way.. he was wondering about the ending.. and he said.. ah.. yes…the good wins eventually.. I smiled.. realizing that most of the movies ends in a way that draws a smile on ur face.. we enjoy that…I enjoy that…I guess it is a way to make up for the things that happen and end badly in our real lives…I hate sad endings…even though I love his movie.. “city of angels.”

I don’t feel that great about work….I just don’t…I get bored so quickly… I wish there is a magical bill for this condition…I’ll be the 1st one to ask for it.

I’m changing…I used to feel shy of people…so kind to them…even when they cause me pain…now.. I just don’t let them do that…I used to forgive more…never count the mistakes of a person specially if he/she is a friend….always give 2nd, 3rd and even 10th chance….now, I just give the 1st chance.. if it was misused…I’m so ready to forget about that person, and just erase him/her from my life…as easy as that…no regret…I guess life changes the person.. I’m kind of happy for this change…I’m just sick of being that silly girl.. a girl that hurts no one.. but still gets hurt…

“ba7ebek wa7shtene”…is the song I’m listening to right now.. I love this song…emotions r so delicate, and very touchy…good one hussen el jesmee, this is a song that each female wishes a guy to sing it for her…. With this high amount of love and care…

I am excited!!

if I am to describe myself,I would say that I'm a strange person...full of emotions..and very moody...but i guess it is in a good way....even though i get depressed and upset...but the silliest thing can shift my mood...

right now, I'm excited...don't know why...I know it is hard to believe ...bas wallahi I don't know why...ino no particular reason...may be cuz i did some work today...don't know...
any way...last week I saw my best friend 1st baby...he is soooo cute..and I loved him...but don't know..may be cuz he is so small...may be cuz I decided not to be attached to any kid...I did not feel that passion toward him..and I don't like that...i have to buy a gift...soon...cuz they r leaving in days..

I used to care about choosing the gift for the ppl i care about..now...i just buy any gift..i don't think that much...i guess i just lost concern...

Many things happened..

Many things happened lately, and I could not, did not want to, and did not have the time to talk about it…. I guess it is better to write it down….and now is a quite good time, since I can not sleep and I’m doing nothing but surfing the net for silly and useless stuff…

Lately I have been a facebook addict…and yes ..addict is the right word to describe the situation here, I just wake up in the morning to check it, go to work…. Back.. check it…go to sleep.. wake up…check it.. and so on…I think it is just an temporary status.. and I’ll get by it soon…hopefully…
The problem is that I’m becoming( if I’m not already) a facebook stalker, I just can’t stop myself from checking every one ..and what is going with him/ her…..I hate my curiosity …but again this is me…:)

I have been shocked with a woman I know, she is from family…she did a very horrible thing…. My heart really hurts when I think of it.. this is the 2nd time I’m officially fooled by someone…

Ramdan was nice.. true the weather was hot, and the day is long, but I really thank Allah we managed to fast it…and enjoying it…I prayed for Allah…asking for 3 main things…I wonder when r they going to be answered….i’m sure they will be answered…if not now...then soon…if not soon…one day….if not one day…it will be written in my book…I just love the fact that I’m a believer…

Jad el dinia sgherreh…I met a classmate.. I was going to say a friend ..but I chose the other word.. I guess it is better for this situation…I saw him in unexpected place…he did not recognize me.. cuz I was in my car and he was walking…I was happy to see him.. even though I recalled how our friendship has ended…and how sad and disappointed I was… but on the other hand.. I remembered uni days…and the amount of fun we had.

I made a first move.. yes …I guess I own myself the right to make the move.. other wise, I’ll keep on questioning what if…and again I have nothing to lose….

we have moved to a new building...i guess i'll talk later about this.....

she was hopping...

He has been in her mind for a while, she met him at a friend’s party, she heard things about him before, and here she meets him.
It has been almost 2 years since they have met for the 1st time, she thought she saw some look in his eyes, she thought he may be feeling something the same way she does, but as usual, she makes no move.

Days go by, and she is still thinking of him, he is at the same age she is, he is cute, smart, and polite, he looks good, not waaaw.. but good, and that’s what she was looking for, and above all…yes.. yes.. he is a pilot… the career of her husband of dreams, where he gets the chance to travel all over the world, staying away for times from now and then, and gets back to her, missing her, and longing for spending time with her, thinking of her while choosing the gift that may please her, and while he is gun, she gets the chance to do many things, spending time of her own, and getting prepared to welcome him home…

Strange how a person can draw dreams, put plans, and starts living according to them, to wake up some morning and check the facebook to know that he has someone in his life….she should have done a move…2 years ago…

It is a boy…

Yesterday I got a msg from my best friend who is living in UAE, telling me that she gave birth to her first son…I was so thrilled and happy for her, specially that her husband is a best friend of mine too.

I called her late at night after a friend of mine had left after an enjoyable visit. She was still tired, I tried to cheer her up, but I knew deep inside that she is extremely exhausted, since she is very slim, and this is the 1st boy…

While I was talking to her, I said a word that expressed my whole feelings, I told her.. waw it is serious, she said…”:yes it is serious, did u think I was playing…it has been 9 months” ..so I was like…ok …ok…, I was thinking....this friend and another friend of mine r now moms, and still I can’t see them as moms…I guess cause I did not go through the experience yet, and cuz I tend to think that they r so alike me, so the whole situation is strange…

sometimes I think …even though I turned 27…but still I’m not ready for commitment, having a family, and raising children.. it is true that I’m a responsible person, but still I don’t know what is really wrong with me thinking in that way…I guess it is all because the stories we hear each day about couples breaking up…but on the other hand, I know that I’m an understanding person so I’m almost sure that I’ll have a peaceful happy life once I find Mr. right….ana dareee….I feel like a mess …so confused ..and many questions r forcing themselves …. I wish I can just settle down…

Again… congrats my friend…so happy for u…

Many things

Today I have many many things to talk about, I couldn’t wait until the weekend ends and get to office to write this post, I guess many things go in my mind and I just want it to be documented so in the future read it and think how days go by, or even look at the situation from another perspective, may be there is a msg and I could not get it at that moment. So here I’m, made my black coffee, sat on my chair and started to write.

The bride is my cousin….:D

The bride is my cousin, and yes I had many married cousins, actually few, but this is cousin is special to me. She is few months younger than me, so we had many things in common.

The sad thing is that I could not go to her wedding, since she is in the 48 lands, so, even if I managed to go to Palestine – which is easy to do for me- it would be still hard to get to the wedding, unless I had a passport…so I saved myself the trouble.

I called her to wish her happiness, and she told me how much she misses us, and that all of them there, uncle, aunts, and cousins…it is only missing us…this is not the 1st occasion to miss because of occupation, I missed the wedding of my cousin who was my best friend ( I guess I’ll write about this later), and we could not be at my grandmother’s funeral …..That’s all make me feel sooooooooo angry ….

But again…this time is to celebrats….so …Congratulations Cousin….wish you all the Happiness in the universe…and may Allah bless your life and family with love and pleasure.

I got my hair cut….:(

Finally, I got my hair cut, and I wish I didn’t….it has been months since I decided to get my hair trimmed, I know it is something silly to talk about, but it is a big thing for me, cuz I’m soooooooooo lazy when it comes to going out to make specific things, I just want to go out to hang out and stay out of home.

You know, I don’t like beauty saloons, girls stay in beauty saloons just talking silly talks, smoking, and calling names on each other, this thing irritates me, and I try to avoid going their unless I have to, and when I get there, I just want to get out ASAP.

El mohem…I got my hair cut…..and she succeeded in making a fool of me… lol…I went home with a urging need to cry…the wearied thing I did not…I guess I have changed, and nothing matters any more…ba3deen it is not the end of the world, it will grow up......eventually….

Sghereeih el dineee….

Yes., it is a very very small world, two days ago, I went to a friend’s engagement party, and yes I know this so usual, and nothing abnormal, the surprise was when I saw a girl from school there.

The truth, I never expected to meet her again, since I moved from the city I was living in (as if Jordan is that big), so we sat and talked checking the news of the girls…and WAW it just hit me that it has been 10 years since I left school…WAW…days r in a race…and yes they r winning…any way…Still, the story is not here, the party girl (if I can call her like that), was a girl in my batch, the funny thing is that she was in my third elementary grade….after that grade, I changed the school, the city, and the country…and as they say…days go by…and after years, we met in the university in the same faculty, same discipline, but we did not recognize each other, after 3 years of being together, I remembered her, and went to tell her that we were together in school, and finally she remembered me…the funny thing is that it took me 3 years to remember her…

In the party, a flashback of my whole life played in order, it is the elementary school and the competitive spirit, then, it is the secondary school, that was full of good times, then it is university time, were we got the 1st lessons in life…and the life of work (since my coworker is one of the batch girls)…so in brief …sgheriieh el dini…

They r getting divorce…

Right now, I’m feeling very confused, I can’t decide how to feel, should I be happy?? Sad?? Or even feel nothing at all??? I can’t really make my mind.. and I guess it is the worst feeling ever…

Our neighbors are getting divorced, they have been married for 10 years, the woman is the same age as I am, and they have a 9 years old girl. My confusing feeling is due to the fact that I know that they were never happy together, the 1st divorce was when the girl was just born, and because of the great efforts done, she got back to him, and nothing is better, their life was full of fights and missing any gesture of love, and the most affected person was the girl.

I’m not saying he is an angel, he did the big mistake when choosing the wrong person, and when he started to answer her requests with no argument, and when she decided to impose her full control, he realized what mess he put himself in. She played the greatest role in destroying the house; she always thought she is better than him (even though she is not). She never tried to make him happy, at the contrary; she tried to make his life miserable whenever, wherever she can.

She went to her dad’s home now, they r consulting lawyers for divorce issue, they may solve it peacefully if she decided to give up on her child. They asked me to teach the girl and review her homework with her, I agreed, and when we were studying, the lesson talked about the mother, and how tender she is, I almost dropped a tear, thinking of her saying to her parents: “please, stop fighting, it is enough, plz er7amoneee”…..strange that ppl never think about anyone but themselves….