Even when we develop technology, we still lack the mentality…

Yesterday, I went to pay the tickets on my car, this is not the first time to go there, to say the truth, I like that department, since even though it is a governmental department, but yet, the service provided is good, and highly satisfactory.

Despite of my general satisfaction, I failed not to note something, which is even that we developed technologies, and we are using them, yet we fail to embrace the idea behind that development.

Entering the building, and knowing there is a queuing system, I headed to take a number, and I found an employee standing next to it, to give you a number, I thought, the system is made to reduce the human factor in the process, in a way that will cut costs and time, never the less, they dedicated an employee to do it, with an excuse that not all the ppl know how to use it. The system costs money, and it should be designed in a way that enables every one to use it, so if we need an employee to do it, why to pay such a mount of money for nothing in return??

At my work place, we have recently invested in a security system, that controls the entrance and exit of the building, this system had cost the institution hundreds of thousands, honestly. Today, in the morning, I came so early, and stopped at the parking gate, since they have not programmed the employees' cards till now, the gate would not open, until one of the guards come, and open it with his card, and I had to wait for him, just because we have no access cards to open it.

One last thing to say, there is no problem if you do not have it, but if you have it and you are not utilizing it, then it is a big problem, I could say it is a tragedy…it is never in the technology, it is in the mentality…we should start with how we think, then go to the part of doing things.

P.S.: i forgot to me mention that even though there was a queuing system, ppl chose to stand on line, lol...they just can not change the way they want thier things done!! so strange..so funny!!

The benefit of lacking luck...

I am not that type of person who complains about lacking luck in life, I keen on the believe that we make life, and not the opposite. Despite of that, I have to admit, that I know that I'm not a lucky person, but I really don't care about that.

No one is entirely lucky, it is always relative. Successful ppl managed to get advantage of their luck combined with their hard work. But some ppl are luckier than others.

Being unlucky motivates me to work harder, this is the way I like to think of it. Nowadays, I'm really going through a crisis of trust, even though I tried to re-trust ppl, and re-build the confidence in the goodness in them, but more and more I lost believe.

I have always believed that you should treat the ppl the way you wish to be treated, and what you offer today, you will be given to you the next day, but life had shown me lately that I have been mistaken, ppl just act according to their nature, regardless the way you treat them with, a mean person will always be mean, whatever you do to him, and a kind person will be kind cuz kindness is his nature. Changing ppl's nature is not an easy thing to do, it needs great efforts and endless patience, and yet results are rarely guaranteed.

Some ppl are just lucky, they offer nothing, yet receive lots of care and love. Ppl just offer them help, love, support and any possible delights to make their lives even easier. I guess even in that luck is not in my side. It is not like I'm claiming that I'm an angel with no mistakes, but I honestly know that I am not a bad person, I'm a friend that you can count on, a sister that you will always find next to your side, a girl that will forgive and pass on things to make life go on, and a person will always willingly offer you serious help even if you have hurt me before, despite all of that...no one is there when I need them, they are waiting for a silly mistake to be made and highlight it as if it is a crime, and forgiveness is not in their dictionary .

Thinking of that, I realized that the only one I should trust is Allah and the only ppl I should care about are my parents, and whenever I make something good, I will make to the sake of Allah and no one, nothing else. Allah will always be on my side, he will never let me down, and he is the only one I can trust and depend on this life. Luck will be affectless when it comes to relationship with Allah, we decide the shape and nature of that relationship, and I have decided to make it a strong one. May Allah help me, and be on my side.

Is it me…or them!!!

Seeing it so frequently, going through it over and over makes me really wonder, is it me or the others? Is it me who expects a lot, and consider the others are not giving me what I deserve, or is it me who gives more than I should do, and expects the same thing in return? Am I really who stands upside down, or the world is??
Each time, a person whom I consider to be a friend hurts me, I just try to find an excuse, and justify what he/she has done. I just keep on forgiving and passing on their mistakes, hoping that they did not mean it, and that they will not do it again. I always consider the good well behind their actions.

Sometimes I think it may be me, who is mistaken, and if I could, I take the advice of unbiased person, to make sure that I did nothing wrong, and if I found it was my fault, apology is what I do with no hesitation.

I never thought not finding the ppl I considered to be my friends next to me when needed is such a killing feeling, I have never seen that day coming, I counted on the saying that life is an echo for our actions, and thought I will get the support I provided over and over to those ppl. But it seems I have been mistaken, extremely mistaken.

Strange how someone you consider as your best friend, and you ready to do every thing you could do to help, and one day, you discover it was a one way feeling, it is one side giving relationship.

The funny thing is that you get surprised by ppl you thought you mean nothing to them, they show you their concern once you need it, and they offer you help, that you expected from others, but never found it.

Should I thank life that shows me the real sides of ppl, or should I hate myself for believing in good in ppl? Should I stop being me? Should I stop thinking of others, and start to care only about me?? Really don't know the answers, but what I know is that I stopped feeling happy or sad for ppl, I even started to wish ppl will go through the misery I'm living, really hate ppl, and have no trust in others…. And what I know is that this is not me!!

على الغالي دور

يا ناصح يللي تتباهى بزكاءك
مش كل اللي بلمع دهب
ولا كل الجواهر معروضالك
بُص كويس يمكن تشوف إيه اللي أُدامك

الدنيا ديه فترينة
فيها الناس متزوءالك
اشي أصفر....اشي أبيض
وأشياء جميلة .... بكل الألوان متلونالك

بس حاسب يا بني...ومتتغرش
الفترينة ديه ليك....ولكل أصحابك
الرخيص فيها معروض
والغالي مداري بعيد عن أنظارك

دور على تاجر ما يغشش
ويديك جوهرة متخبية بس عشانك
شايلها في خزنة
ومفتاحها- إن كنت شاطر- يمكن يبأ من املاكك

بس اعرف يا بني
طريأك طويلة ويمكن تكون بالأشواك مزروعالك

حتتعب شوية
لكن إن وصلت، ده طاءة القدر بئت مفتوحالك

ده كنز علي بابا بين ايديك
أكيد الست الوالدة كانت دايما دعيالك!!

فابسط يا عم وعلى الكنز حافظ
وشوف ازاي حتتغير حياتك
ده انت الغالي اخترت
فيا عم....هنيالك

أما إن كنت ع الرخيص دورت
فتستاهل كل اللي يجرالك!!

ما أجمل ملاكاًً.. أن تكون
تنام قرير العين هنيء الجفون
فأنت للناس مساعدٌ
ولست عن أذية أحدهم بمسؤول
لكن الدنيا دون بقاء الحال دائماً تحول
ففيها من هم للملائكة كارهون
يزرعون الحقد.... وفي المحبة يشككون
و بالاجحاد والإنكار... المعروفَ يقابلون
وللأسف... هم في حياة الجميع يمرون
وحيث أنك ملاكٌ
فإنهم بتصرفاتهم معك لك صادمون
فتقف للحظة....
ألخطأ مني...أم هم الخاطئون؟؟
أمسارك ما يحتاج لتعديل....
أم هم من لمسارهم سيعدلون
لكن الله..... رازق المال والبنون
لا يرضى أن يكون أنصارُ الشر هم المنتصرون
فسبحانه.... يرسل مَن للإيمان... يجددون
وللأمل والخير هم ناشرون
فإن كانت نيتك إرضاءُ عَاِلم ُ السر المكنون
فافعل المعروف في أهله وفي غير أهله
لعل بعض الشياطين لملائكة يتحولون
ولا تنسى أن تختار...
أشيطاناً أم ملاكاً تود أن تكون!!

Really not my day!!

Today was a day that I can freely say it is not my day. In the morning, I could not sleep, even though it is Friday, and I slept very late, going out for a walk, something broke in the car, did not take it into consideration, after that, the same distance I walk all the time took me much longer time to be finished, after getting back, making a soup, I got my hand cut, slight and superficial, but I still think it may need a stitch…I should have took the msg by that time, but I did not, I just went out with friends, and to finish a great day, I chose to leave car lights on, to have dead battery when deciding to go home by taxi!!!

Sure it did not end here, it is the words I had to hear from dad….and how I should not have gone out from the 1st place…and how often he told me to switch the lights off…the internet connection is no difference, it is the million time I tried to connect, don't know if it is going to work eventually.

Not my day at all, but thanks to Allah it may have been worse!!

Lana..a great writer

I'v read this articl and loved it as I do each time I read fro Lana, I wonder if I re-read this again after several years how my feeling will be, hope it differs....

أحزان!
د.لانا مامكغ





المرأة قلباً وعقلاً وشخصية
جريدة الرأي الأردنية

تجاوزتُ سن الثلاثين... تجاوزت إشارة مرور كان يتوجب عليّ الوقوف عندها طويلاً... أرقب التقويم السنوي بقلق، تؤرقني السنوات الهاربة... متعبة أنا من الانتظار، انتظار الذي لم يأت بعد، ولا أحسبه سيأتي لاحقاً...

عزباء ولست جميلة... حقيقة قرأتها دائماً في عيون الآخرين، من عائلة متوسطة محافظة، تعليمي متوسط، وأعمل في وظيفة متوسطة الدخل... مساحة باهتة من الأشياء اسمها الوسط! حلمت طويلاً بتجربة حب، لكني لم أملك الجرأة أو الاستعداد لخوضها، أو لأقل بصدق، لم يحدث أن تلقّيت دعوة حب من أي كان... وعليه، فالجميع يشيدون بأخلاقي وفضائلي واستقامتي! قلت لنفسي: مزايا كفيلة بتشجيع أحدهم للارتباط بي، لكن ذلك لم يحدث... ثم قلت: لن أستسلم لعقدة شكلي، المرأة ليست قالباً وحسب، بل قلباً وعقلاً وشخصية، لذلك اهتممت بثقافتي، وملأت قلبي بالمحبة للناس والدنيا... كنت مُدركة أني مؤهلة لمشاعر النقص... فواجهت مشكلتي بجرأة، وتجاوزتها، وعقدت سلاماً مع العالم!.

كل هذا والسنوات تمر، تهرب، تفر كفراشات شقيّة!.

أتقنت كل ما يلزم أن تتقنه امرأة، الحياكة، الطهو، الزراعة المنزلية، وقرأت كثيراً عن الأطفال وعلم نفس الطفولة.

أما عروض الزواج التي تلقيتها وأتلقاها فتحدث كما يلي: تعلن عن حالة طوارىء في بيتنا منذ تلقي خبر الزيارة، زيارة جمع من النسوة، أقارب العريس طبعاً، يترتب علي أن أجالسهن لأتيح لهن مشاهدتي... وأستسلم لعيون تراقبني، تحدّق بي، تخترقني... أعيش دقائق جهنمية حتى تنتهي الزيارة، لأجلس في انتظار الرد... ولم يحدث أن تلقيت رداً، كنّ يخرجن ولا يعدن ليعلن رسوبي في امتحان لا أعرف وسيلة الاستعداد له... ولا كيفية النجاح فيه!.

تمضي الأيام، وكل زيارة من تلك الزيارات تقتل فيّ شيئاً من إنسانيتي، وبعضاً من ثقتي بنفسي وبالحياة!.

ربي، لست أحلم سوى بزوج وبيت وأطفال... ربي أتراني أطلب الكثير؟.

ربي، يقولون إن الجميلات تعيسات في حياتهن... هل سألوا أنفسهم يوماً عن تعاسة غير الجميلات؟.