Jan 15, 2008


I’m waiting the results!!!

I don’t have any problem with exams, I love them sometimes, but what I really hate and do not tolerate, is the period after the exams, waiting the results…iffttt.. I hate it …it pushes on my nerves, hope the 20th of January wont be that long.

Last week I was in a 5 days training program, I did well, actually very well to a degree the two trainers started to look at me all the time, explaining the material to me, and when asking a tricky, hard question…they just look at me to check if I know the answer…
The truth, I liked that feeling, getting back and taking the lead as I was at school time, cuz in college, I just handed the flag to the others, not caring about the competition, at that time I lost the spirit…thanks to Allah it is back now…and I wish to go on…the only thing here, is that I have to be alerted all the time, otherwise he will catch me talking, drawing…or whatever I’m used to!!!

Some ppl r just so mean!!

This is the 2nd day to live in a shock of how mean people r!! up to now I just can get it, why? How could they? What I did to them? WHY????

I guess it is in the way our parents raised us, to wish good for all the ppl, not just to ourselves…I guess those ppl their parents were absents at that lesson!!

Many plans…nothing would be done…

I thought 2008 will be the year of change for sure, I had many options and work even on more, things r not going the way I wish, and yesterday was day I knew that my 4th plan will not be happen!! Not sad but feeling down somehow, seeing all my plans going with the winds!!
My only consolidation is that Allah always chooses the best for us, and what seems bad now, may hide a good thing after all…what a great and relieving thing to be a believer…it eases your life…

Jan 4, 2008

We never know where life takes us….

A friend of mine, a very close one, used to say…we never know where life takes us. At the middle of the relationship, I used to think, what is he talking about, we r friends, and more over, we r cousins, so what could happen to turn this relation apart…no way.. nothing can change us…,but not as usual, I was wrong!!!

I used to consider him as my best friend, I guess he was more than that, a brother who I can share thoughts, feelings with and ask for his advice. Our talks were all about life in general, and since he is part of the family, I felt free to talk about things that go with me daily.

The sweatiest thing was that he was capable of reading my thoughts even before I say it, we agreed on many things, and even though I have a different mentality that is not easy to understand but he was the person who understands me, and knows what I’m talking about.

People could not understand the nature of our relation, and they were convinced that it is love. At that moment I did not care, cuz I knew that it is not love, I was sure he was thinking the same way…he is not my type, yes I know that I admire him, I like his personality, but there was no chemistry…and even if there was, he is happily engaged!!!

Days go by, and this relation changes for worse, emails, chatting, phone calls and even sms r less and less. I admit that I missed him as a friend, especially when he was a corner stone in my life, but as usual, and due to my pride, I said nothing.

Once I was feeling down for a very long time, I thought if I talk to him, and tell him what is going on with me, I’ll feel better, but again I was wrong. His reaction came very shocking, asking me to consider him as a friend nothing more, I was like... “What the hill u r talking about?” u among all the people in the whole world should know what my feelings toward u r, I love u right, but as a brother…his word hurted me so deep, I wish I had the courage to say that u r not my type, but I was so afraid of hurting him…

Today I miss him, I miss our talks, I miss when he used to say the word just seconds before I do, I miss thinking of the same subject even if miles apart us, I miss talking about a song I love…

YES I DO MISS YOU, and even if I’m sad that u caused me this pain, but I still have this feeling to u, and now it is for ur wife and sweet little kid, and as u kept on saying… “We never know where life takes us.”