Mar 12, 2008

Uniform gets into me!!

I have this weakness point toward guys in uniform!! I like their looks, and don't know I guess the uniform gives them a charismatic look and a very respectful appearance.
When talking about uniform, I generally mean the people in the force: police, army, sometimes doctors, but above all pilots.
I remember that I was so amazed by a movie: "Catch me if you can", Leo was more than great, I loved him, I loved his intelligence, his way in manipulating others, and most of all, his look in the pilot suit. I have to admit that I like this actor, but I liked him even more when he played that role.
The truth is that I like to see people wearing uniform, for example, I can't think of stewardess wearing different thing from her coworker, it is a very good indication of the lake of professionalism. Yes I think of uniform as a way to show how professional you are. Up to now the only uniform I had to wear was the school uniform, and I recall that I did not like it at that time. The strange thing is that even though I like uniform on others, I think I'm not that ready to wear it each day and go to work!!
The bottom line here is…when I see a pilot, policeman, or a lady wearing army uniform .. it makes my day!! Yesterday was one of the good days…

P.S: as I do sometimes, almost a year ago, I had chosen randomly a day and specified that it is going to be a big day. I don't why I do that, but I do. Starting the early morning, I prepared myself for a good thing to happen, and I decided to have a very nice day whatever happens. Nothing unusual happened, but I succeeded in having a nice, cheerful day. I guess the good thing about yesterday was the lesson that I used to believe in, it has been revived with a stronger believes that you decide and control how you live life, by choosing the perspective from which you look at things. A lesson that helped me in choosing to have another big day.. nice week.. cheerful month.. and even a superior life!!

Mar 10, 2008

Things happen for a reason, happen when you least expect them!!

I am a believer, I always have been, but yesterday, was, as I think, a big test of my faith. Yesterday as I was in my office, the office Clark came and told me that a small rock came from the street, hit my car and the rare window had been broken.

To tell the truth I was not upset, I know I should have been, but the only thing was in my mind, Thank you Allah I was not in it. I had to go to the police station to report the accident, where they sent me to the headquarter, in my way I went and changed, then went to get the report and went to the insurance company to arrange to fix the car.

After almost 2 hrs, I went home, ate my lunch and went to sleep. I was somehow feeling strange, I should be upset, but I'm not, I just couldn't care less, yes I felt sorry for what happened, but not upset, at the opposite, I was kind of happy!!

This is the 4th time I go to the police station, lol, and all because of the car, the strange thing is that each time, it happens when I'm away or standing still. As I was in the police station, every one was there looking and talking about me, winks started to fly all over the place, as if it is the first time to see a lady in the police station!! I really feel uncomfortable to go to such places not because it is wrong, but because of the looks they give to me when I'm there. Thanks to Allah I'm done with it.

Thanks to Allah, that's all what I can think of, thanks for the minor losses, but thanks more for the believe I have.

Mar 6, 2008

God has his own mysterious ways in answering us

That night I went to sleep and the thought of having a baby in my life was controlling , I could not stop thinking of it, yes I want a baby of my own, to hold and play with, to gaze at the sweetest smile, and feel the greatest touch ever. I prayed to have a baby in my life, and I even cried while thinking of that, I guess what really got into me was my best friend's baby birthday, it moved my feelings, and I could not go there cause I know I wont be able to hide and control my feelings, I really love her, and love her daughter and wish the best, but I wish to experience the feeling, I wish to be mom. That day, one of my friends gave birth to her child, and as a reply to my greetings to her and to her husband, I got.."3o2bal 3endek".. I was thinking…yah.. I guess I need to find the father first!!

Once I was in the French class, and we were playing this game, that you have to answer the questions without saying yes or no, so I had been asked: "Do you have kids?" so I was like.." I wish", and the whole class laughed, I guess it was the unconscious mind that has the control over that answer.

Any way, the very next day after that night, a friend of mine, her daughter had some troubles, and they had to take her to the hospital, and I went to visit her, they were making tests and they had to take sample from her spinal cord liquid, it is a painful procedure, she started to scream, and we had to stay out of the room, her mom started to cry, and for sure I did that too. Thanks Allah, three days later the girl got better and now she is doing fine.

At that moment, I hated the idea of having a baby, with a possibility of getting sick and not to be able to help and to feel so weak in front that situation…the idea just creeps me… at that moment… I knew that this is God's answer for me questioning about having a baby…
Three years exactly since the story had started, three years of thinking of the whole thing daily, not one single day without thinking of what happened. I promised myself day after day to stop thinking, to move on, and I'll get the answer one day, and the mystery will be solved by itself, but no, nothing happened, and I'm still waiting, really I wish to know what happened, what went wrong, and stop thinking of the song that fits the situation. Right now, Rania's Al Kurdi song "kalemtak kteer" fits the most …but I really wish that med7at sale7 song: "ana mesh b3eed" is the scenario the applies to this story. I guess I have to wait…and learn how to let things go.