Oct 18, 2009

Despite of all what have been said…

Amany my Love,
Amany my Friend…
Never thought I'd lost you…
And how much you'd be missed…

You promised with a visit…
Sadly your promise hadn't been met…
I guess I'll forgive you…
But no…I can't forget.

No emails from you,
Not to mention the greetings that you never forget…
Have you lost my address??
Or am I out of your list??
My cousin I miss your jocks…
I miss emails to be sent…
With you, I love to talk…
And highly enjoy to connect

Thanks for every thing,
Thanks for the lessons I have learnt…

To seize the moment,
if not…feel the guilt.
Always say what is in my mind,
And never feel the regret.
Be generous indeed,
Not as the others pretend.
Give away dollars,
Like people do with a cent.
Lend a hand to the needy,
And never wait for an Aid.

Our bond will go on…
It will last till the end…
Rest in peace my dear,
May Allah our prayers accept

Oct 15, 2009

Till we meet…Rest in peace my love…

An awesome man we have lost…
A great man he has been…

An uncle you can't but to love…
The kindest you have ever seen…

Chivalry & wisdom in his blood….
On him you can keen…
His judgment you shall trust…
And you will never be deceived…

Bright & witty with guts
Not to mention he was lean…
Firm full of love
For the family was like a dean...

His laughter I have loved…
Asking to hear when he is in the scene
If not answered I'd be Stunned
For how bighearted he was, even more than what it seemed…

His death was a shock…
It has never been foreseen
It is like being hit with a rock…
And hence a tremendous pain is revealed…

Saying Goodbye is a must
But never thought how hard could it be
Rest in peace my love…
Though it's harsh to believe you are deceased
Our mourning will never end…
At least… until in heaven we meet…

Oct 14, 2009

My sweet cousin is not here any more!!

My lovable Rasha is an angel you can call…
With an eye glimpse…
She passed away in the Faull…

The sweetest bride we were all waiting for…
Got her white gown fitted …
To be picked upon a call…
May she rest in peace…
May Allah bless her soul

Last time we talked, an invitation I have received
To attend a wedding…
In which she had always dreamed…
This wedding I'll miss…
And I have no choice to be deemed…
In heaven it will be held…
And she'll pick the fruits of her seed…
That's our prayer
And on Allah's acceptance we keen

Today is the day that her shower party was planned to be held…May Allah bless her soul with peace and mercy…and give us patience.

Oct 7, 2009

It is her birthday today!!

Today is her birthday, a woman that is hard not to be loved. Full of kindness, tender as no one else, can give you the warmest hug you could ever dream with, her smile can blow off your sorrow and pain, her love is so pure…so true…

They say I look like her, in the way I look, in the way I act with, a diplomatic smart person, loving the others, willing to forgive and find excuses to their mistakes, strong and can stand through the hard times, lead and guide…and give you energy to go on… they say I'm so similar to her…but from my point view…no.. She is way far better than me.. She is way far.

This is her first birthday after passing away, can't get her smile and laugh from my head, can't stop thinking of her last time she was here, shopping for her granddaughter…she was so happy…her 2 sons were to get married after she had dreamed with that day since ever…her daughter may she R.I.P, is to get engaged.. and her first girl grandchild is in the way…she was giving love, effort, time and money to make all of them happy..

Allah er7mek ya 3amtee….Allah er7amek ya 7abebtee…you will never be forgotten.. lucky you.. all the ppl love you…wish I were like you…Rest in peace my dear…Rest in peace my love…

Oct 6, 2009

One month had passed!!

Strange how our sense of days differs when it comes to tragic accidents. One month had passed on their passing away, yet I still feel so in pain, as if it was yesterday. Yes we are all trying to move on, but things will never be the same, we are still unable to believe it, to live with it, and get used to the horrible idea, that we all know is true.

Strange how death comes in a way that you never expect, it comes to ppl that you took their existence in your life for granted, and you never thought what your life would be if they are not there…and out of the sudden, it happens…and reaction is just un-controllable!!

I got use to the fact that Allah had decided to make our lives not easy, and being a believer, thanking Allah and accepting his decision for that is the only we do, but nevertheless, this time it reached even a higher level of hardiness, but again thanks to Allah, who tests the faith of his beloveds.

Loosing five of my family in that way was not that easy, a shocking devastating experience could be an even underestimating description to the experience we went through. But again we thank Allah because we trust his wisdom, and that he chooses the best for us, even if we don't understand how that could be.

It is raining outside, I used to think, it is not right to say that the sky is crying over someone who died, but when it happens now, the same day they died…I can't stop thinking, yes.. it is crying over my beloved family, and my only prayer is that May Allah rest their souls in peace, and give them forgiveness…and may Allah ease it on us, and give us patience and ability to forget and overcome pain and sorrow.

Oct 5, 2009

We miss big things!!

It keeps coming and going into my mind, why do I write about silly things that happen in my life and forget, or even avoid writing about the major things, the most important things?? Up to now I do not know the answer, I wonder if I am going to find it one day.

Strange how accidents and tragedies change us, in a way we never thought it will…some times it turn to be good, since it improved an aspect of our lives, sob7an Allah, there is a good thing in whatever happens for the believer…may Allah count us with those, and forgive us for our mistakes and faults.

Oct 4, 2009

Even when we develop technology, we still lack the mentality…

Yesterday, I went to pay the tickets on my car, this is not the first time to go there, to say the truth, I like that department, since even though it is a governmental department, but yet, the service provided is good, and highly satisfactory.

Despite of my general satisfaction, I failed not to note something, which is even that we developed technologies, and we are using them, yet we fail to embrace the idea behind that development.

Entering the building, and knowing there is a queuing system, I headed to take a number, and I found an employee standing next to it, to give you a number, I thought, the system is made to reduce the human factor in the process, in a way that will cut costs and time, never the less, they dedicated an employee to do it, with an excuse that not all the ppl know how to use it. The system costs money, and it should be designed in a way that enables every one to use it, so if we need an employee to do it, why to pay such a mount of money for nothing in return??

At my work place, we have recently invested in a security system, that controls the entrance and exit of the building, this system had cost the institution hundreds of thousands, honestly. Today, in the morning, I came so early, and stopped at the parking gate, since they have not programmed the employees' cards till now, the gate would not open, until one of the guards come, and open it with his card, and I had to wait for him, just because we have no access cards to open it.

One last thing to say, there is no problem if you do not have it, but if you have it and you are not utilizing it, then it is a big problem, I could say it is a tragedy…it is never in the technology, it is in the mentality…we should start with how we think, then go to the part of doing things.

P.S.: i forgot to me mention that even though there was a queuing system, ppl chose to stand on line, lol...they just can not change the way they want thier things done!! so strange..so funny!!

Oct 1, 2009

The benefit of lacking luck...

I am not that type of person who complains about lacking luck in life, I keen on the believe that we make life, and not the opposite. Despite of that, I have to admit, that I know that I'm not a lucky person, but I really don't care about that.

No one is entirely lucky, it is always relative. Successful ppl managed to get advantage of their luck combined with their hard work. But some ppl are luckier than others.

Being unlucky motivates me to work harder, this is the way I like to think of it. Nowadays, I'm really going through a crisis of trust, even though I tried to re-trust ppl, and re-build the confidence in the goodness in them, but more and more I lost believe.

I have always believed that you should treat the ppl the way you wish to be treated, and what you offer today, you will be given to you the next day, but life had shown me lately that I have been mistaken, ppl just act according to their nature, regardless the way you treat them with, a mean person will always be mean, whatever you do to him, and a kind person will be kind cuz kindness is his nature. Changing ppl's nature is not an easy thing to do, it needs great efforts and endless patience, and yet results are rarely guaranteed.

Some ppl are just lucky, they offer nothing, yet receive lots of care and love. Ppl just offer them help, love, support and any possible delights to make their lives even easier. I guess even in that luck is not in my side. It is not like I'm claiming that I'm an angel with no mistakes, but I honestly know that I am not a bad person, I'm a friend that you can count on, a sister that you will always find next to your side, a girl that will forgive and pass on things to make life go on, and a person will always willingly offer you serious help even if you have hurt me before, despite all of that...no one is there when I need them, they are waiting for a silly mistake to be made and highlight it as if it is a crime, and forgiveness is not in their dictionary .

Thinking of that, I realized that the only one I should trust is Allah and the only ppl I should care about are my parents, and whenever I make something good, I will make to the sake of Allah and no one, nothing else. Allah will always be on my side, he will never let me down, and he is the only one I can trust and depend on this life. Luck will be affectless when it comes to relationship with Allah, we decide the shape and nature of that relationship, and I have decided to make it a strong one. May Allah help me, and be on my side.

Sep 28, 2009

Is it me…or them!!!

Seeing it so frequently, going through it over and over makes me really wonder, is it me or the others? Is it me who expects a lot, and consider the others are not giving me what I deserve, or is it me who gives more than I should do, and expects the same thing in return? Am I really who stands upside down, or the world is??
Each time, a person whom I consider to be a friend hurts me, I just try to find an excuse, and justify what he/she has done. I just keep on forgiving and passing on their mistakes, hoping that they did not mean it, and that they will not do it again. I always consider the good well behind their actions.

Sometimes I think it may be me, who is mistaken, and if I could, I take the advice of unbiased person, to make sure that I did nothing wrong, and if I found it was my fault, apology is what I do with no hesitation.

I never thought not finding the ppl I considered to be my friends next to me when needed is such a killing feeling, I have never seen that day coming, I counted on the saying that life is an echo for our actions, and thought I will get the support I provided over and over to those ppl. But it seems I have been mistaken, extremely mistaken.

Strange how someone you consider as your best friend, and you ready to do every thing you could do to help, and one day, you discover it was a one way feeling, it is one side giving relationship.

The funny thing is that you get surprised by ppl you thought you mean nothing to them, they show you their concern once you need it, and they offer you help, that you expected from others, but never found it.

Should I thank life that shows me the real sides of ppl, or should I hate myself for believing in good in ppl? Should I stop being me? Should I stop thinking of others, and start to care only about me?? Really don't know the answers, but what I know is that I stopped feeling happy or sad for ppl, I even started to wish ppl will go through the misery I'm living, really hate ppl, and have no trust in others…. And what I know is that this is not me!!
على الغالي دور

يا ناصح يللي تتباهى بزكاءك
مش كل اللي بلمع دهب
ولا كل الجواهر معروضالك
بُص كويس يمكن تشوف إيه اللي أُدامك

الدنيا ديه فترينة
فيها الناس متزوءالك
اشي أصفر....اشي أبيض
وأشياء جميلة .... بكل الألوان متلونالك

بس حاسب يا بني...ومتتغرش
الفترينة ديه ليك....ولكل أصحابك
الرخيص فيها معروض
والغالي مداري بعيد عن أنظارك

دور على تاجر ما يغشش
ويديك جوهرة متخبية بس عشانك
شايلها في خزنة
ومفتاحها- إن كنت شاطر- يمكن يبأ من املاكك

بس اعرف يا بني
طريأك طويلة ويمكن تكون بالأشواك مزروعالك

حتتعب شوية
لكن إن وصلت، ده طاءة القدر بئت مفتوحالك

ده كنز علي بابا بين ايديك
أكيد الست الوالدة كانت دايما دعيالك!!

فابسط يا عم وعلى الكنز حافظ
وشوف ازاي حتتغير حياتك
ده انت الغالي اخترت
فيا عم....هنيالك

أما إن كنت ع الرخيص دورت
فتستاهل كل اللي يجرالك!!

May 14, 2009

ما أجمل ملاكاًً.. أن تكون
تنام قرير العين هنيء الجفون
فأنت للناس مساعدٌ
ولست عن أذية أحدهم بمسؤول
لكن الدنيا دون بقاء الحال دائماً تحول
ففيها من هم للملائكة كارهون
يزرعون الحقد.... وفي المحبة يشككون
و بالاجحاد والإنكار... المعروفَ يقابلون
وللأسف... هم في حياة الجميع يمرون
وحيث أنك ملاكٌ
فإنهم بتصرفاتهم معك لك صادمون
فتقف للحظة....
ألخطأ مني...أم هم الخاطئون؟؟
أمسارك ما يحتاج لتعديل....
أم هم من لمسارهم سيعدلون
لكن الله..... رازق المال والبنون
لا يرضى أن يكون أنصارُ الشر هم المنتصرون
فسبحانه.... يرسل مَن للإيمان... يجددون
وللأمل والخير هم ناشرون
فإن كانت نيتك إرضاءُ عَاِلم ُ السر المكنون
فافعل المعروف في أهله وفي غير أهله
لعل بعض الشياطين لملائكة يتحولون
ولا تنسى أن تختار...
أشيطاناً أم ملاكاً تود أن تكون!!