Jul 17, 2007

I hate when people give instructions..!!!

I hate it when people give instruction, whether you need it or not, whether they know what they are talking about or not, they just like to talk and talk, so they make u feel: “what the hill I have done, so u got the idea I can not do it right??”

I am not saying that we should not listen to what others think; on the contrary, it is very good to take an advice, I even ask for it, but that when I know that I need it. That day, I was in a wedding party…there are those ladies, who serve at the party, and the photographer, not to mention gussets…all of those people, they start to tell the bride, the groom how to move, act, take pictures, dance, smile…even how to look at each other…GOD…it is not your business guys…they r free to do what they wish…as if u all had the best moments, and you r experts when it comes to weddings and parties…ifff…

Please mom excuse me for saying the following…I do know that u wish me the best, and that u want to teach me every thing u know, so I’ll be perfect in doing things, but please get the idea that I have grown up, I’m old enough to do thing in my way…choose what to wear, where to hang out, with whom, what to eat, when, what to watch, when to wake up and sleep..…for God’s sakes…I’m a manager, they take my opinions in sensitive, critical issues…..and I have managed to be a successful person in this life…so why don’t u believe in me, and just admit it that I can depend on myself……please mom know…I’ll never give up on ur advices, I’ll always need them, and be sure…I’ll ask for them… so plz.....believe in me...love u mom

I have been known with my smile….

This is the 2nd time to meet someone from my university, in batches other than mine. She is a girl that is one year older than me, and now we work together in the same organization. I knew her, just by her look, never talked to her. So we were talking, and then she said: “I knew u before, I used to know u because u always smiled”…. I was like: “ ah wallah!!! U know me by my smile?” to tell u the truth I was happy of that….it made feel that I can be noticed by my acts more than my look.

As I said, this is not the 1st time, I once met this guy, 1 year younger than me, and he used to study in my college, he told me the same thing. I guess I have this charming smile, that people can not forget…lol…(so humble, right??)
Many things can make me smile, a pretty cat in the street, a kid’s laugh, beautiful rose, a song I like, an email/call from a friend…name it any silly sweet thing can draw a smile on my face….and I feel that it is very healthy to smile, even if things are not working the way they should…

Two months ago, I have this new job, people here don’t laugh, they just don’t, I feel so odd when I smile, any way…one morning, the guy on the reception, stopped me and asked: “can I tell u something?”.
Me: “plz…. go ahead”
him: “u started working here with this smile, in the morning, afternoon, and each time u pass by, but now, the smile is gone, I guess I can say that u r an official employee in our institution.”
Me: “shocked- trying not show that I agree with him- no no…it is only the hot weather.”
Him: “I wish….”
Me: no …I’m sure…u’ll see…and went away with this artificial smile on my face….

I couldn’t stop myself from thinking of what he said, it is true, I stopped smiling the way I used to do, one factor was that I have this feeling that I don’t really fit here, I haven’t made any friendships, and I guess I will not be making any in the near future, even though I’m a person who lives by socializing with ppl…I guess. I feel so lonely….that is the reason why I lost my smile….I guess I have to retrieve it…whatever this takes …I’ll fight till I get it back…J