Is it that we look bad because we feel bad, or…??

If I’m to describe myself, I would say that I have moderate beauty, I’m not that pretty, yet, I’m not ugly, as people tell me with their words and looks, you can find beauty in my eyes, hair, complexion, or whatever.

In the last few days, actually weeks, each time I look in the mirror, I search for beauty I used to see, I only can see eyes out of sparkle, filled with sorrow. I only see lips, out of life, faking a smile, I wonder, it is the same face, the same clothes, I did not gain weight, so what changed?? Do we look bad because we feel bad?? Or do we feel bad because we look bad??

I have been down lately, I tried everything, I’m swimming every other day, I went to skill-improvement sessions, I went to cinema, I watched many movies, I met with old friends, I read a book, I stayed in bed, I had comfort food!! But there is no use..I still feel bad..The subject is all over my mind, and I can’t get it out!!

The funny thing is that I don’t care if I look good or bad, not any more, I make no effort because I know how much I tried, I will not see the beauty any more..I guess it is true; beauty is in the eye of the beholder!!