Finally…she is in love…but….

She is new in her work, still checking the people around. She’ll never forget that day, sitting in her manager’s office and here he passes. He was the one she was dreaming about all the time, she never felt like that toward any one, all the guys she met were kids to her, but his one…he is the man of her dreams….

She never believed in love from 1st sight, she thought people talking about that are silly and so shallow….how do they think?? Love is not about how u look, it is much more than that…so how could she?? And she is the one laughing at others’ stories…..now she is sure…feelings are never controlled…..

“Waaw…he entered the office, defiantly he is not a model, he is not pretty, but he sure knows how to make her heart illogically jumps, she is plashing, she can even feels the heat in her face…her whole body…and the worst thing.. she can’t hide this obvious spark in her eyes…..he says hi, welcomes her in the company…asks her typical questions…and she answers with this weak…trembling voice…..she knew at that time she is in love…..

Her manager: “Mr. M, u have gained weight!!”
Her love: “yah man….it is marriage (bragging) ..u know…newly wed”……WAW….what a shock…it took her a while that is not short to get back from far away thinking…..her hopes went away with the winds….

Days passe by…..they are getting good friends, and even though she does not agree with very essential thoughts he holds… she enjoys talking to him, spending time with him, her happiness can’t be measured when he shows interest in her, she even does her best to get his attention…and gets him like her even more.

There was no way to hide her feelings; her big, un-erasable smile always exposed her … her plashed face, and the way she fixes her look, perfume, and make up before going to him…were so clear, a blind can see them….she is entirely attracted to him……

Deep inside…she knew she does not have the right to love him, it is a love from one side, even if it was from both sides…it is not her right….nor his…he has a family now…..

Going through upsides- downsides ….she lived her life, struggling the inner feeling of guilt…she has to be able to control her feelings, she is a strong person, never been weak…….but she never could….she decided to control her acts…..

Three years later, she left her job, a job that one factor to stay in, is to keep close to him, see him every day and hear his voice…she even hated to wear green, cause when she does, she doesn’t see him that day….she decided not to wear green….

She is away now….but still compares each guy with him, has this fantasy dreams about dancing with him and being held in his arms. Her heart still starts to beat in a bloodcurdling way when she sees his name calling her on mobile….she still wants to call him for the silliest reason…. And then she thanks God she was able to hold herself and never call….

Her prayers are: “Please God, give me strength, and let me get over this….Please God…give me strength to do the right thing…and never hurt any one…including myself”…..